Is it okay to hit a man for whatever reason if you’re a woman?

Is it okay to hit a husband if he cheats? If the answer is yes, then is it okay to hit a wife if she cheats? If the answer is no, then the next question should be, “Why?”

So, I have been watching this parody about Tiger Woods and his wife (holding a golf club) on youtube and read some of the comments, and it made me wonder, ‘Would people see it as funny if it’s the other way around?’ I bet the answer is an absolute no.

Okay, now, before I continue, I just would like to clarify that I am not focusing on the Tiger Woods domestic violence story (if what happened to Tiger Woods is really domestic violence or not, that’s not the point) but rather I’m focusing on violence on men and how people really don’t see all violence to be not okay as they claim.

I have asked a good male friend of mine about his opinion on incidents like violence on men, and since I gave him Tiger Woods’ story as an example, initially he said that Tiger Woods deserves what he got for cheating on his wife. So I asked him, “if that’s the case, would he think it’s okay to beat a cheating wife, too?” He said “No”. I asked, “Why not?” then he said, “Manners maybe” and I asked again, “Why is it good manners when you don’t hit a woman, but it’s not bad manners to hit a man?” and finally, he said the words I have been waiting for him to say, “It’s double-standard”.


He’s absolutely correct it IS a double standard, which so many people have failed to notice. People’s reaction to violence on men and how it greatly differs to violence on women simply wouldn’t go unnoticed forever. I myself have been blind about this when I was young, but as time passes, and as I grow older, I became aware of this accepted belief; that it’s never okay to hit a woman, but it’s funny and okay – in fact accepted – to hit a man. Where is justice in that? Now, if we really want real justice, if it’s okay and funny for a woman to hit a man, it should be okay for a man to hit a woman. If it’s not okay and it’s not funny to hit a woman, then it should also not be okay, or funny to hit a man, right? To me that is fairness, equality, and justice. That’s how I see it. When asked about this, people just dismiss it saying: “Violence is never okay”. Sure, violence is never okay, and all people know that. But the thing is, what do we really see when violence of women on men happen? We see people laughing. Yes, we laugh, because we think it’s funny. But is it really funny, knowing full well someone got hurt? In practice, do people really show how they disagree with all violence? It’s very easy to say it’s not okay, but why do we laugh at some violence on other people? How is it funny? I thought violence is never okay, but why the laugh? With this kind of belief and blind acceptance that it’s okay as long as the one perpetuating violence is a woman, what’s going to happen to sons and nephews who will grow up to this kind of double standard that surely harms them? Where is the sense of justice, fairness, and equality? Again, it’s very easy to say that violence is never okay, but is it really how people treat ALL violence, never okay? Just observe how people react when it comes to violence of women on men happen, then you will know the real answer. Maybe that’s what we all should ponder on. I know I would get a lot of negative reactions concerning this, but I can’t just keep silent about the injustices I see happening around me that people unconsciously accepted as norm and okay.

Now, I just want to clarify that I am not condoning or endorsing violence on women, but rather I am endorsing justice, fairness, and equality. If it harms a human life, it should not be tolerated.


4 Responses to Is it okay to hit a man for whatever reason if you’re a woman?

  1. David says:

    Good for you, and thanks for noticing. Violence should never be condoned. Back about 2 decades, drug humor was all the rage, and people made jokes about drug addicts, before that it was race, and alcohol, it seems society finds ways to laugh at all the things that are wrong with our humanity!

    Did you ever notice how Filipino comedians always make fun of Filipino habits? I even have a book about how the culture works, but at least it explains why Filipinos do what they do.

    There is a comic here who’s Filipino, Rex Navarete, he’s very funny, but sometimes I shake my head because he’s making fun of his own culture. Although it’s offensive if someone else does it. But why? Just like black humor, why is it ok for anyone to make fun of a particular culture??

    Good insight.

    • lemraq says:

      Thank you! Yes, I became very concerned about it since I became an aunt. I have two nephews and I don’t want them to grow up an underdog because society made them as such. I don’t want anyone to cause them pain and will be laughed at when they receive it. I want them to feel that their right and dignity as human beings are acknowledged, recognized, and respected.

      About the Filipino comedy, yes, we do laugh at our practices and attitude sometimes, and truth is, some jokes are foul. It’s offensive when someone else does it because it’s an inside joke. We don’t call each other “maids” just because of some Filipinas becoming domestic helpers, because it’s not funny in the least, and if someone does it, he/she deserves to be in front of a firing squad. Kidding aside, I do believe there should be a limit to jokes. That’s my personal beliefs. Common decency will tell a person what to say without offending the other. Sometimes we Filipinos forget that we need to respect ourselves first in order to be respected. I’m not a fan of fat people calling themselves pigs just to make people laugh because I see it as a sign of no self-respect. It’s encouraging people to laugh at their expense. And violence should never be made fun of, because it’s really not funny.

  2. David says:

    I know what you mean about the social stigma (maids). My wife’s family is wealthy, but she wasn’t the type to sit in school and get a degree, so she got married after high school and helped her first hubby run a couple of gas stations. They came to the states and divorced, and she had no way to earn $, and she’s too hot-headed to work for someone else, so she started house-keeping. Her family is ashamed of what she does, even though, for a while she was earning lots of $$. She worked her butt off to keep our household afloat, and now that I can earn the bucks, she can take it more easy. But the family still doesn’t like to think she’s a housekeeper. She even has a building named after her in their city…

    I know, insider joking is supposed to be ok, and if it comes from someone outside it sounds like criticism. But I agree that humor should never put down someone different from you.

    • lemraq says:

      Your wife is admirable. I admire her courage. I, too, hate school, but the belief here is that you must have a degree. It’s scary not to have one, it’s like suicide or something. I pray that one day your wife’s family will support her decision and respect it. Besides, she managed to survive even without a degree, and I think that’s what’s more important. There are lots graduate students here who have no work and it’s really sad.

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